Come and Knock on my Door

"Come and knock on my door..."

Yeah, so it's not so much that the Three's Company theme is rolling around in my head, but something else is. I haven't even begun writing the actual novel part of my book. I'm still in "research" mode. But guess what should happen to me? Another idea for a book. Do I have the time? No. Do I like this idea? Yes. What will I do? Make notes and file them away so that I can properly give it the attention that it deserves.

And so it seems that while still in my "research" phase, I've stumbled upon some new methods. Well, new to me at least.

I follow a new up and coming novelist on twitter- @megan_shepherd and something she tweeted this past week set off a light bulb for me. It was one of those moments that I said, "I can do that?"

She was talking about the editing of her book and how she was going to have to go back and do research for certain areas due to the notes she had made along the way.

Stop the presses! That's when I went, I can do that? I mean, I can write what I want and make notes in certain areas that need additional research? Wow. I'm the type of person that researches, makes notes all prior to beginning a book. But this idea? Wow, really something I'm considering giving a go.

While I know that I will need to know and understand a certain aspect of the information I am writing about, it still amazes me that I can skip over parts and come back to them. Maybe it's the neurotic side of my brain that thinks I must do things in order. Even before this book I was in a constant state of, no I can't write that chapter yet even though I know exactly how it's going to play out because I'm only on chapter 4 and that's chapter 24.

So yeah, I hit a breakthrough and one that I must say, I'm eager to try. Then again, all you published authors may be sitting back laughing at me right now. Thinking to yourselves, Oh dear. Just you wait until you get to the actual editing process. Then you'll be screaming in frustration.

Of course, the great purpose of a blog is to record the ups and downs I'm experiencing. I think limited research and going back during edits is a great way to document those ups and downs.

The Little Engine That Is Having Doubts

I'm trying to keep the mantra in my head of, "I think I can, I think I can" but honestly, I'm really afraid that I can't. My notes are scattered out in front of me. I'm in love with my story and my characters but I'm terrified that I can't get it all together.

The outline for one thing makes me feel like I'm some kind of scattered brained ditz. Really, I know where I want my story to go and when I want it to go, but for the first time, I'm having a hard time expressing that in words. I feel like my mind is all a jumble and it can't keep up with my pen.

Then I'm reading like a maniac! From every "words of wisdom" from published authors to aspiring ones I've heard the same piece of advice given: Read everything you can put your hands on. Yeah, well I'm doing just that and I'm still feeling like I can't do it. How can I be that crafty? Or witty? Or clever? How, how, HOW can I possibly do this?

Nano is only a few short months away and I'm beginning to have serious doubts that I'll have my ducks in a row. In any other story I've written I've never experienced this problem. I've been able to map out my story and start writing. Now, I feel like I need boards with people's faces on them and places and dates. Why am I suddenly acting like this? Is it because I want this book to be something? Something more than a blurb on my computer? Something people will blog about and rec on Goodreads? Because these are my characters and not someone's I've borrowed?

Seriously, I'm freaking out. This weekends project will probably consist of white boards and glue and sharpie markers. Actually, that kind of makes me feel a little better.

I have found my voice

It's true. Granted, this voice wouldn't grant me a spot in the Hollywood round of American Idol but it has given me the push I need to know exactly where my novel is going.

Yesterday I had a mini meltdown. I began to really start thinking about my book and the realization of my tense hit me in the side of the head leaving me momentarily knocked out. You all saw the post. Do I write first person? Do I write third? Do I do alternating POV's? Well, I figured out where I stand with all of this talk, thanks to some really amazing women. Some are like me, crafting their very own novels. Some are some really good friends that have been with me since the beginning of my writing journey.

After being able to talk things out, freak out, and lose sight of what I needed to do, the answer sat down upon a golden stool right next to my feet and said, "Hello. My name is Deep Third Person POV. How do you do?"

In my head, even though this particular tense was mentioned by a another female writer, his voice was just as deep as it sounded. Like any good potential date, I researched him. Granted, Deep Third Person doesn't have a Facebook page, but he had all sorts of yummy blog posts written about him. I was in awe! I was in shock! I was suddenly aware that subconsciously, I had already dated him! All of this only reaffirmed where I needed to take my story. With Deep Third Person right by my side.

Of course, now that that little set back has been decided, my outline comes next. Oy. Sometimes I don't think my hand can keep up with my brain. Then again, I'll save that for another blog post.

Deeply in love with "Deep",
Holly